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It's less than 1 month to the due date. Laura's been doing wonderful, most of the things have been taken care of that we need to be done (other than the car seat). My level of terror is dropping off, which I hope is a good thing. I don't feel "ready", but I figure that I'm feeling about as ready as I'm going to be. I'm actually getting a bit excited about meeting our new addition. When I think of that excitement, the terror speaks up with a "I've not left yet!", but it's a quite voice at this point.
The thought of me being a father is still surreal, but I think that I'll grow into it. ;-)
It's all about putting things into perspective. I've said things like "disabled child", but was corrected to "child with a disability". I didn't understand how the ordering of the words mattered, but Laura helped me understand it a bit better. Apparently it's person first, disease / condition second because the person is the most important part. They are not the disease. They are not the label. They have their own identity.
It's all about perspective. Talking to a guy at work with a disability, he says that the disabled community refers to people without a disability as the "currently abled". That has a strong tinge of this too shall pass.
Along this train of thought I'd like to post Invictus which I find an extremely powerful poem.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
It's funny the questions that ask you when they find out that you're going to have a girl. Probably the most common is "Are you happy that it's going to be a girl?". Such a dumb ass question. I usually response with "No, not really. I was really hoping for a boy" just to see how they react. Of course I'm ecstatic that we're having a baby. It seems like such a useless question to me, like "Do you like breathing air?".
On the weekend I had a funny reaction where a woman thought that I was serious and said something like "well then..." and got up and walked away. I'm not my fault that when they asked an idiotic question and I replied likewise but with a straight face and they didn't get it. Should I feel bad about the interaction? Maybe. But I'm just so tired of the question.