the left hand of darkness
.

Mon Jan 17 05 / 2:38 PM

He just left, and I never think I'm going to cry until the very last second. Being apart is easy enough, but the final moment of embracing and then walking away in polar directions is immediately emotional.

He was here three weeks, and instantly I'm one month closer to going home. I enjoy being here, but it's not worth a year of my life; just like at my uncle's; just like the year before that. If only I knew what was worth it, or if only I weren't so lazily afraid to try what I think might be worth it.

The airport goodbye was different than when I was leaving Ottawa. Without parents and friends, with just us, I felt infinitely cooler living in Japan, infinitely worldly, and infinitely in love.

Tonight I will go back to my routine of independence, fraught with infinite potential to make something of myself, and the time will pass quickly, as I both want and don't want it to. Only 5 months left.



</>

Comments (0)
Lisa Higgs
.