super nova
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Wed Oct 20 04 / 10:29 PM

Training is going okay. I haven't been feeling nervous, but this morning I felt like I was constantly on the verge of something horrible. My heart was beating fast and my stomach was clenched. I felt like I was dumb and the ability to be smart was locked away in the core of my brain where I could feel it but not use it. The anticipation of the crash was killing me. But that all went away when I went to the bathroom.

My trainer has said I am one of the strongest trainees he has seen in his four years with the company, and the various experienced teachers who have to observe my lessons in their free periods have agreed. Still, I don't feel confident. I don't feel like a good teacher. I can tell I'm doing much better than the other new guy though, and that's the most important thing.

I know I'm only here for the money, and I know I don't really want to bother making temporary friends. But I still accept invitations and tell others that I am here to figure out if I want to be a teacher or not back home. It's okay to be antisocial, as long as you don't appear it in the working world.



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Comments (2)
Lisa Higgs
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