down under
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latest archive about email links yearbook japan photoblog wish list	Mon Jul 30 01 / 6:25 AM This country is making me ugly. It is cold and there is no central heating, so I am purple-skinned and unclose-shaven, and bundled in the same baggy pyjamas everyday. There is no sun - I am pale. The space heater is drying out my hair and skin: my psoriasis is becoming unmanageable. There are no electric dryers, so my clothes are stretched, stiff, and faded. There is nothing to do, so I am becoming flabby. While I cannot give up on a nation because of one town, I do need to get out. Things with him are good, but not as great as they once were. The quality of mystery, of privacy, of anticipation, of surprise - it is leaving us as he comes home everyday to me huddled in our room, the same as he left me. I have no life here, and it's a ruinous thing. I can see in him that there are more and more instances where he doesn't need me to be there, doesn't think of me being there. He has given up aspects of his private life that he doesn't want to share with me, because he has no privacy. I am always there, and even I am getting tired of myself. The novelty is gone. Reality has set in, so I must get out.
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Lisa Higgs
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