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Unsent Letter #5 (the beginning)

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Tue Jul 17 01 / 6:13 AM

Dear Ashley,

There have been so many different beginnings to this letter, but all in my head. On a bus on my way to work at the book store, in a computer chair in my temporary room at my dad’s apartment, leaning against the counter brushing my teeth ... But now – on an airplane, in Chicago, on my way to Japan – now it seems like the perfect time to write.

Things have changed since we last wrote our letters. Seems all right that way, though. We’ve both been through high school, college, moving out, working for the money, working for a living, loving, losing, using, abusing, sex, drugs, rock and roll; and we’ve done it together and we’ve done it apart, and throughout it all have been the letters.

So here we are again. We’ll always come back to our letters. U and I and our love of letters; the one great thing we have in common.

Much ado.

I thought I would be more excited than this. Saying goodbye to the world I made and knew in Ottawa, walking alone onto a plane and into some new era of experience; it’s all been interesting, but what else? I am enjoying traveling alone like this, but maybe excitement really needs to be shared.

Pangnirtung was the first and last time I ever flew, so the four flights I’ll be on this weekend is pretty cool. Makes the world feel both big and small and me feel sophisticated. I am finding out that economy isn’t that great a way to fly when you’re fully-grown, or maybe it’s just that the chairs (the people) are smaller on Japan Airlines. The flight attendants are all porcelain Japanese dolls, born to be what they are, just like every flight attendant must surely be. They’re even coming around now with a cart of duty-free watches, scarves, and perfumes for our buying pleasure, yen only.

My trip goes like this. In Ottawa I took an American Airlines flight to Chicago; it lasted about 2 hours, and there was scenery the whole way. You know that feeling you get when you’re on a bus and the music from your earphones is the only noise you can hear, and it seems that you travel blindly forward, knowing you will get somewhere, but the bus doesn’t have anything to do with it because it’s suddenly your whole life you’re talking about? That’s what it was like on the plane, looking down: watching the towns roll by under the white noise of the airplane engine made it seem as if I was going so slowly, but then I am jolted out of reverie with the news that I am in Chicago already, and I have to think, So this is where I brought myself, knowing I could no sooner stop my life from moving onward than I could stop the plane once it took off. And that’s what this trip is, in some ways: on the one hand stepping into the New Era excitedly and hopefully, on the other hand stepping into it resignedly attempting to make it worthwhile, because it will happen anyway.

In Chicago’s O’Hare airport now, and I have met a girl. Her name is Tamara G., and she is likewise off to Oz to see her boyfriend who is there studying. We have a lot in common, including appearance in that generic small white girl long brown hair way. Although actually, she reminds me more of Samantha Hanniman from high school in the way that Samantha Hanniman always reminded me of me.

Anyway, Tamara is nice, and I’m sure we’ll exchange numbers or whatever else it is that friendly people do. We’ve also met Darren, another Canadian boy who is going to the same city as me (that would be Wollongong) to visit his girlfriend. I think, a few years ago, I wouldn’t have hooked up with Tamara the way I have. Partly shyness, I’m sure, but also partly maturity. I know now that a friend is a good thing to have, now and in the future. I know it makes me feel better, because I’ve known what it’s like to be known for having no friends.

Is this part of the New Era? Before today I’d never traveled alone, promised to write, exchanged money, been to Chicago, or slept in an airport lounge. By tomorrow I will be in another country on another continent, and then on my way to yet another of both. I will have been in the non-Western world. The day after tomorrow I will have been on four flights in two days. I will be reuniting with someone I know who is currently in a completely reversed time zone. I will be cooler. But I will still wish I were a better dresser.

About nothing.

</>

Lisa Higgs

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*Unsent Letter #5 (the beginning)*
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latest archive about email links yearbook japan photoblog wish list	Tue Jul 17 01 / 6:13 AM Dear Ashley, There have been so many different beginnings to this letter, but all in my head. On a bus on my way to work at the book store, in a computer chair in my temporary room at my dad’s apartment, leaning against the counter brushing my teeth ... But now – on an airplane, in Chicago, on my way to Japan – now it seems like the perfect time to write. Things have changed since we last wrote our letters. Seems all right that way, though. We’ve both been through high school, college, moving out, working for the money, working for a living, loving, losing, using, abusing, sex, drugs, rock and roll; and we’ve done it together and we’ve done it apart, and throughout it all have been the letters. So here we are again. We’ll always come back to our letters. U and I and our love of letters; the one great thing we have in common. Much ado. I thought I would be more excited than this. Saying goodbye to the world I made and knew in Ottawa, walking alone onto a plane and into some new era of experience; it’s all been interesting, but what else? I am enjoying traveling alone like this, but maybe excitement really needs to be shared. Pangnirtung was the first and last time I ever flew, so the four flights I’ll be on this weekend is pretty cool. Makes the world feel both big and small and me feel sophisticated. I am finding out that economy isn’t that great a way to fly when you’re fully-grown, or maybe it’s just that the chairs (the people) are smaller on Japan Airlines. The flight attendants are all porcelain Japanese dolls, born to be what they are, just like every flight attendant must surely be. They’re even coming around now with a cart of duty-free watches, scarves, and perfumes for our buying pleasure, yen only. My trip goes like this. In Ottawa I took an American Airlines flight to Chicago; it lasted about 2 hours, and there was scenery the whole way. You know that feeling you get when you’re on a bus and the music from your earphones is the only noise you can hear, and it seems that you travel blindly forward, knowing you will get somewhere, but the bus doesn’t have anything to do with it because it’s suddenly your whole life you’re talking about? That’s what it was like on the plane, looking down: watching the towns roll by under the white noise of the airplane engine made it seem as if I was going so slowly, but then I am jolted out of reverie with the news that I am in Chicago already, and I have to think, So this is where I brought myself, knowing I could no sooner stop my life from moving onward than I could stop the plane once it took off. And that’s what this trip is, in some ways: on the one hand stepping into the New Era excitedly and hopefully, on the other hand stepping into it resignedly attempting to make it worthwhile, because it will happen anyway. In Chicago’s O’Hare airport now, and I have met a girl. Her name is Tamara G., and she is likewise off to Oz to see her boyfriend who is there studying. We have a lot in common, including appearance in that generic small white girl long brown hair way. Although actually, she reminds me more of Samantha Hanniman from high school in the way that Samantha Hanniman always reminded me of me. Anyway, Tamara is nice, and I’m sure we’ll exchange numbers or whatever else it is that friendly people do. We’ve also met Darren, another Canadian boy who is going to the same city as me (that would be Wollongong) to visit his girlfriend. I think, a few years ago, I wouldn’t have hooked up with Tamara the way I have. Partly shyness, I’m sure, but also partly maturity. I know now that a friend is a good thing to have, now and in the future. I know it makes me feel better, because I’ve known what it’s like to be known for having no friends. Is this part of the New Era? Before today I’d never traveled alone, promised to write, exchanged money, been to Chicago, or slept in an airport lounge. By tomorrow I will be in another country on another continent, and then on my way to yet another of both. I will have been in the non-Western world. The day after tomorrow I will have been on four flights in two days. I will be reuniting with someone I know who is currently in a completely reversed time zone. I will be cooler. But I will still wish I were a better dresser. About nothing.
	</>
Lisa Higgs
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