great expectations
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latest archive about email links yearbook japan photoblog wish list	Thu Apr 05 01 / 6:26 AM I hadn't seen Jen since she moved out, and it surprises me that it has been more than three months now. So when she knocked on the door today, I was even more taken aback than I usually am. She was just here to pick up the last of her stuff, severing what feels like the last connection to our past. I was quiet as she easily enough removed the last of her presence from my immediate life. The past few years we always used to go months without getting together, but this time it was harder to see her than it was to not see her. She didn't even look me in the eye. I don't know what she was thinking, but it didn't seem to be the same thoughts I was used to. We talked about all the same things, but it felt like it was between two friendly strangers, and not best friends. And while it shocked me, she acted like there could be no other expectation. On her way out she momentarily asked about Ashley, the other best friend. Her finishing comment, "I doubt I'll ever see him again." And by him, did she maybe mean me too? Maybe I thought that once Jen moved back home, she'd return to being the Jen she was before she moved out in the first place. But it appears that the change I thought she'd go through upon moving out in the first place waited to happen until she'd gone back home. She's different now, and I don't like it; she's not Jen anymore, she's Jennifer Johnston.
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Lisa Higgs
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