astronaut ambition

trick of waking

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Thu Nov 23 00 / 4:42 AM

I'm very tired; so tired that there are makeup traces on the notebook I dozed off upon. It feels nearly good, though, to be tired at the end of the day when this used to be the beginning.

I haven't been sleeping more at night, just waking more in the day. I have a job now, at the bookstore I've always wanted - it doesn't get anything done, but at least I can say I did that.

I really have so many things I want to do, and then there are the things I just want to be done. Doing more seems to be my way of ever doing anything, so long as I can keep it up. I have only a month left to be resolved, after all.

Could I get back my astronaut ambition? The public eye is a strong motivator, really my only one lately. How did I lose admiration for my personal excellence, I wonder. Or perhaps, was it ever in my possession? Really, I don't know if I have ever done it for my own appreciation.

This shall be new territory, then (probably the old path grown over).

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Lisa Higgs

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*trick of waking*
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latest archive about email links yearbook japan photoblog wish list	Thu Nov 23 00 / 4:42 AM I'm very tired; so tired that there are makeup traces on the notebook I dozed off upon. It feels nearly good, though, to be tired at the end of the day when this used to be the beginning. I haven't been sleeping more at night, just waking more in the day. I have a job now, at the bookstore I've always wanted - it doesn't get anything done, but at least I can say I did that. I really have so many things I want to do, and then there are the things I just want to be done. Doing more seems to be my way of ever doing anything, so long as I can keep it up. I have only a month left to be resolved, after all. Could I get back my astronaut ambition? The public eye is a strong motivator, really my only one lately. How did I lose admiration for my personal excellence, I wonder. Or perhaps, was it ever in my possession? Really, I don't know if I have ever done it for my own appreciation. This shall be new territory, then (probably the old path grown over).
	</>
Lisa Higgs
.